Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Things you don't know....

So....there's something we haven't told you. No, nothing crazy or insane like THAT. We have this problem. And it's a big problem, but also rather small. Annoying, really. There's this bird. A robin (Brent called him Robby, I call him Bob). And he likes our house. A LOT. And he won't leave. Ever. It started last Tuesday. We came home for lunch and hear this banging, pecking really, coming from the front of our house. We creep around the corner and this robin is pecking at an octagonal window offset from our front door. He flys at it and pecks, over and over and over. At first it's amusing. We take pictures, videos, laugh at it. But he never stops, and that gets old. So we put some shoes on the inside of the window, and that works during lunch. But when we get home that night he's back at it, over and over again. By 6:30 am the next morning he was back. So we hung a trash bag over the window and left for work. When we came for lunch....he was attacking our front door - and pooping all over the porch. Huh??? Over and over and over. He's rather bold. He'll fly to the roof while I'm out with Pippin and while we're in the yard he returns to attacking the windows until we go back in. He even pooped on a package that we got Friday. Nice. I was hoping Friday's hail would kill him, but nope, he was back on Saturday. By Sunday morning I had had it. I Googled "what to do if a bird won't stop pecking at your house" and found this article. Basically this idiot sees a competitor in our window (himself) and isn't going to stop until mating season is over. Fantastic. I papered our entire front door in white paper. Not 15 minutes later the m-fer was now flying at our sidelights. I hate him. We got CDs and a windchime, strung them up and hung them in front of the sidelights, on the outside. I refuse to paper the sidelights. Pippin pushes back the curtains to watch for us, and I'm not taking his window away. These distractions momentarily stopped him, but he would sit on the railing of our porch - and continue to poop. We wrapped packing tape all along the railings so it would be too sticky for him to land. SUCCESS! We were feeling pretty happy about all this.....until yesterday. We came home for lunch and instantly saw it. All the marks and scuffs on our BACK door. Our front door and porch is totally ghetto-ed out, and now this a-hole has moved to the back of our house. He's now attacking our 3 back windows and back door. Sun up to sun down. He has no fear of us, he just sits in our window sill, pecking and pooping. I talked to a neighbor tonight as I walked back to our house after my run and he is having the SAME problem. We can't decided if it's the same bird or not. Our bird never seems to leave, though. Anyway, Brent and I have a plan for this bird. He's had fair warning, and Pippin is about ready to lose his mind - he has to listen to this crap ALL day. I'm not sharing my plan, but if you understand my frustration I'm thinking you'll see what direction we're headed in. After all, what kind of father leaves his nest all day for retarded house pecking. He should be feeding them and building a posh nest.

Oh yeah, I ran today. A normal 6 miles. Annoying people blocking the sidewalk, 8:45 pace for 6 miles. I was lonely because Brent didn't feel good so I had to run alone. It would have been fun to have him help me run into some old hags that wouldn't get out the way. So I had to elbow them by myself and that's not nearly as fun.

Anyway, talk to you later!! Make sure you check out Running Jayhawk's crazy dream! HA!


Monday - 1 mile am walk with Pips, 50 minutes toning/stretching (abs & thighs)
Tues - 1 mile am walk with Pips, 6 mile evening run


At 7:21 PM, Anonymous angie's pink fuzzy said...

that is hysterical (of course, I don't live with it!)

hope Robby Bob goes away soon!

At 7:27 PM, Blogger Cory said...

I once had a cat named Bob. I named her all by myself.

At 7:43 PM, Blogger mouse said...

haha! clip his wing with a bb gun. if that doesn't work, give him a warning shot and then aim for the head.

[PETA I am not.]

good grief. the house totally is ghetto-ed out. it would be absolutely hilarious, if the bird weren't so goddamn annoying!

At 7:56 PM, Blogger Hilda said...

Sorry Pipins is taking the worst part listening it!

At 7:59 PM, Blogger Mr. Excitement said...

He sounds sick. Probably has the bird flu or something.

At 8:04 PM, Blogger Tammy said...

Wow... that's crazy! Happy Hunting! You can always call Cheney for a few tips! d'oh! Duck & cover Brent, duck & cover!

At 8:57 PM, Blogger Running Jayhawk said...

Oh man...that's a riot! What about buying one of those big ugly plastic owls from Home Depot? Or banging a spoon and pot together whenever it's near. I hear those are supposed to scare 'em off for good.

I've also heard about using a bar of soap and drawing a line across the window...but that may be specific to avoid having birds FLY into the glass, not necessarily prevent them from being pecking a-holes.

At 11:01 PM, Blogger Darrell said...

Love the pic of Pippin staring at the bird poop on the threshhold! Hopefully the thing will go away soon.

At 1:58 AM, Blogger Liam said...

I know it's not funny to you, but I love the way you wrote about the little birdie, it had me laughing all the way.

We used to sing a song as kids about the Red Robin -

"When the Red Red Robin
Comes Bob-Bob Bobbing Along
When the Red Red Robin
Comes Bob-Bob Bobbing Along
Shoot the Bast**d!"
Shoot the Bast**d!
Shoot, Shoot, Shoot the Bast**d!"

Drastic, but myabe required!

At 2:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thta is an awesome pace. What's up with that Robin? How weird..

At 2:27 AM, Blogger Susan said...

ok, so i'm not sure what is up with the anonymous thing - that'a me above. blogger is errging me right now

At 2:44 AM, Blogger Robb said...

That's very strange about the bird...and why your house? Why not the neighbour's house?

Hopefully, Robby Bob moves on soon. Reminds me of Alfred Hitchcock's movie The Birds. Sheesh.

At 3:35 AM, Blogger Cory said...

Kinda fun to be anonymous once in a blue moon, though. Throws other posters off.

At 5:41 AM, Blogger TriSaraTops said...

OMG that is HILARIOUS!!! Not for you guys as much I guess....:) Kinda reminds me of our TWO raccoons in our house---now we laugh about it but at the time it was NOT funny!!!

At 6:16 AM, Blogger D said...

Find Robby Bob a girlfriend.

Good run!

At 6:50 AM, Blogger Cliff said...

So what's the plan..u guys planning on having bbq robin for easter weekend? :D

At 8:17 AM, Blogger Michele said...

Wasn't it in "Failure to Launch" that there was a annoying bird too? Get the bb gun out.

Those old hags blocking the sidewalk are the same people who get in the far left lane on the interstate and drive 45 mph, but are entitled because "they were there first".

At 10:30 AM, Blogger Lana said...

Sounds like you need to borrow Briar's Red Rider BB gun. He managed to shoot out the backboard of our basketball goal with it...so I think it would take care of the bird very nicely.

At 3:14 PM, Blogger BuckeyeRunner said...

You will never believe this, but we have a female cardinal that stalks us inside the house, as well! she will literally go from our kitchen window, to office window, to bedroom window pecking away and looking for us! This has been going on for almost a year now! Weird, huh?

At 4:03 PM, Blogger Kim said...

Brent needs to get a sling shot. :) Not that it works. (Jeff's tried.) But we have NASTY black birds that have taken up roosting in our drainpipes. Happened last year too. And then the dead baby birds fall out.
Kids werent' impressed when one was stuck hanging upsidedown outside our stair's window. "Mommy, can you help the baby birdy?" Ay yi yi.
Neighbor comes outside EVERY night and shines a flashlight in his eaves 'becasue if they're going to irritate me...I'm going to irritate them.' They don't care. :)
It's quite the topic around here. Keep us posted if you figure out a way to rid yourself of it.

At 5:24 PM, Blogger Anne said...

Sounds like something out of a movie, just not sure if it's The Exorcist or Scary Movie that seems more appropriate.

At 7:04 AM, Blogger jeanne said...

I know! I know!! Catch him, then buy him a cage, and you now have a new pet!! That's your plan, right? RIGHT?? :)

At 10:31 AM, Blogger Jon (was) in Michigan said...

Try one of those bug plastic owls with the bobble head. We had birds building nests in our AC, so we bought one of those and they went away.

Next step, the Robin Dazer?

At 6:34 AM, Blogger E-Speed said...

wow that bird is nothing if not persistant!

lol elbowing old hags!

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