Jan 31, 2009.

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
I don't wanna miss even one song,
Cuz all too soon the clock will strike midnight

Is there ever a post you've written over and over in your head? Not just once, but for days and weeks, maybe even months. Something so big you don't even know how to start it, how to even verbalize everything you want to say, or the tone you want to say it in. Something just SO much bigger than words.

We're having a baby!!! Jan 31, 2009.

For you fellow mathematicians that puts me at a secret we've held for 15.5 weeks now. And a lot of you have known for a few weeks now, and thanks for not publicly spilling the beans while we make sure we get a chance to tell people ourselves.

I can't even put into words everything we're feeling right now! Excitement, pure joy, and scared witless. Hearing that little heartbeat (159 bpm at yesterday's appt) is like nothing else in the world, it's just unfathomable. It just seems like so many other things just don't even matter anymore, it's all about incubating this little person to the best of my ability, a task we're ALL taking seriously. I swear on some level Pippin knows-he basically does not let me out of his sight anymore, period.

I have so many hopes and dreams and a whole new host of things to be scared of and worry about, none of which have anything to do with me. I could care less if I never run another mile, but I can't wait to run the streets of our great city with our little bumblebee pimped out in a jogging stroller. I can't wait to show this new person all the wonderful places Brent and I have been to - the serene coast of Maine, the beauty of Oregon, the insanity of Mt Rushmore, the unfathomable beauty of Bryce Canyon. There are so many things to see again from a new pair of eyes. I can't wait to swing on the porch after next year's Tomato Festival with a giggling baby. I can't wait to hear one more person complain about the quantity of Christmas trees I like to decorate, and the sheer madness of putting out the Halloween decorations on October 1st every year. One more person to tell me I honk way too much in traffic. There will be a new person to tell the story of how Brent and I met all those years ago, and how I knew right away he was the one, and what a great dad I knew he'd be. A new person to love on Pippin, and become the new object of his affection.

I think my little 7 year old nephew said it best last week when he IM'd me and asked me for the hundreth time when "we would be getting the baby". He said "I wonder who my new cousin will be" and I admit I wonder the same thing, just about every minute of every day. It's just more exciting than any words can do justice.